I Never
by Nellen
Summary: The gang plays the ohso famous drinking game at a senior party. Secrets are obviously revealed about one another. Funny oneshot.


Disclaimer: This is getting utterly ridiculous. It's all about common sense people! How can a 13-year-old own High School Musical and Disney? Sheesh…

Summary: The gang plays the oh-so famous drinking game. Secrets are obviously revealed about one another.

------------------

I Never…

------------------

"This party is in the slums."

The gang (Spanish chick, Captain, Basketball Freak, Smartass, Four-eyed Composer, Baking Dude, Drama Twins, and Captain's Second Private, who is Four-eyed Composer's Boyfriend) were at a party being held by Ingrid, a senior. Hell, it was a "Senior-Only" party. (Obviously the gang is a bunch of seniors). It was the last party of the year before graduation.

"Ingrid's parties are always boring, Ryan," Taylor scoffed.

"No. I don't think they're boring. I just think that we're not having fun," Zeke nodded.

"Making it boring," Zeke's girlfriend rolled her eyes at him.

"Why don't we ever have fun at her parties?" Troy asked everyone.

"It's cause it's Ingrid's parties!" Chad explained. "I mean, it's Ingrid, herself!"

"Ingrid's name sounds like it's a color," Gabriella muttered. "It reminds me of indigo, yet the color of puke."

"She always has been a boring person…" Jason said.

They all thought.

--------

Ingrid, today, is wearing jeans, a solid t-shirt, and is wearing her hair in a ponytail.

--------

Ingrid is wearing, yet again, jeans, a solid t-shirt, and is wearing her hair in a ponytail.

--------

Once again… she's wearing the same things….

--------

"No. I think it's her clothes, so plain and blah. We never saw her wearing graphic tees!" Sharpay concluded.

"Maybe it's something else," Zeke said.

They all thought… again.

--------

"Hi guys. What do we have for homework?" Ingrid's voice was monotone.

--------

"Hi guys. When's homework due?" Yet again, monotonous.

--------

"Hi guys. Are you my partner for the project?" Monotone voice.

--------

"Nah. I think it's her voice. She just drones on and on," Gabriella drawled.

"It's also her greeting," Ryan added.

"And she needs a topic to talk about instead of homework and projects," Taylor noted.

"It could be anything," Chad sighed.

"Okay. It's just Ingrid then. I wonder who else is having fun at this party…" Kelsi said.

-----------------

"Are you having fun, Cindy?"

"Of course not, Mindy. How about you, Libby?"

"Not really, Cindy."

-------------------

"This party is boring, Charlie."

"You wanted to go here, Marly."

"Guys! Just try to have fun!"

"Shut up, Harley!"

------------------

"Hey look! Ice cream!"

"Mel! Don't eat that! It makes you fat!"

"Well, there's nothing else to eat besides chips, chips, and more chips! We're getting fat anyways, Kel."

"I, Nel, will leave this party at once."

------------------

"This party is worse than Science club."

"I think it's worse than Book club, Mike."

"Whatever you say, Ike." (HAHAHAHAHAHA! MIKE AND IKE!)

------------------

"Hi. My name's Ben. What's yours?"

"Jerry."

"You're pretty hot."

"And you're banging."

"Wanna ditch this party?"

"Sure!"

------------------

"I only saw five people leave. I think others are staying just to be nice," Troy observed.

"You have great observation skills, Troy," Kelsi snorted. "I'm leaving. Jason?"

Jason was nowhere to be seen.

"Jason?"

"He's obviously not here, Kelsi," Chad told her.

"I'm not blind, Chad!"

"Why are you wearing glasses, then?"

"Stop being mean, Chad," Taylor scolded her boyfriend.

"Yes, Tay."

"Hey! Guess whose back from the dead!" Ryan said.

They all saw Jason with at least, three six-packs of beer.

"He didn't die, Ryan," Sharpay told her brother.

"I was being retarded, Sharpay. In case you don't know what retarded means," Ryan started. Sharpay cut him off.

"Are you implying I'm a dumb blonde? In case you haven't noticed, you're blonde, too!"

"Shut up!" Jason hollered. "I brought beer. Okay? Now let's just have a nice can of it, and have some fun. At least SOME fun."

"Beer? Are you serious, Jason?" Kelsi snorted.

"Oh, sorry. I couldn't find the vodka," Jason said sarcastically.

He handed everyone a can. Gabriella came up with a brilliant, fun suggestion.

"Hey guys! Let's play "I Never…"!" she squealed with excitement.

"How do you know that game?" Troy asked suspiciously.

"Who cares! Let's play!" Zeke was utterly bored and wanted to play… evidently.

"Ooh! Me first!" Taylor said. "Just for starters, and I want to make sure."

She looked at everybody.

"I never had been kissed."

Thankfully, everybody drank a gulp.

"That was a stupid one," Chad said, after drinking.

"I was just making sure no one was a bloody virgin to kissing," Taylor explained.

"I'm proud to have such a smart girlfriend... Well, my turn."

"Don't come up with something stupid," Troy warned him.

"But he will, anyways," Kelsi muttered.

"I never had a drink until now."

"I knew it…" Kelsi sighed.

No one drank.

"I told you not to come up with something stupid!"

"Well, I was just making sure!"

"Chad…" Gabriella began. "You saw everyone of us have drink. At parties! Hell, last week we had beer! Don't tell me you don't remember!"

"Actually… I don't…"

"Pathetic…" Ryan snorted.

"Well, let's see you come up with something!"

"Fine! I never went on one hundred dates!"

Everybody started counting.

"Chad, how many do you have?" Taylor whispered to her boyfriend.

"Half. You?"

"Two hundred seventy."

"Oh…"

They both drank.

"We went out one hundred fifteen times, Jason. Cheers," Kelsi informed him.

Their cans bumped together and they drank.

"Gabby, how-" Troy got cut off by Gabby.

"Three hundred. Exact. Drink."

And they did.

"Eighty-seven, Zeke. Thank goodness," Sharpay wiped imaginary sweat off her forehead.

"Almost to one hundred…" Zeke mumbled.

And they didn't drink.

"My turn," Sharpay said. "I never walked in on someone."

"Walking in on someone meaning the people having sex or just making out?" Troy asked to make sure.

"Sex."

Only Troy, the twins, Taylor, and Gabriella drank.

"What's your story, Troy?" Chad asked.

"My parents are horny all the time. They remind me of the "Zimmermans" from SNL. Gosh. What horrid memories," Troy shuddered.

"How about you, Ryan and Sharpay?" Zeke questioned.

"Well…." Ryan started.

"Uhm…." Sharpay uhmed.

"You don't have one?" Kelsi raised one eyebrow.

"We do! It's just…. Gosh…" Sharpay was turning red.

"Well… our parents were having a party and Sharpay and I were out…." Ryan continued. "Well, when we came home… it was like… a freaking high school "sex party". Everywhere we looked, an orgasm was going on."

"And we ran away…." Sharpay finished.

Silence.

"Wow…" Jason broke the… silence.

"Yeah…." Ryan shook his head. "How about you, Gabriella?"

The girl looked at Chad and Taylor and they were glaring at her.

"Oh… uhm… My brother and his girlfriend…. Were doing it…. In the backseat!" She came up with a false story.

"You don't have a brother," Troy said.

"Oh? I don't?" She chuckled nervously.

"You're lying! Gasp!" Sharpay exclaimed.

"I'm afraid to say who!"

"Why?" Zeke asked.

"They'll kill me!"

"Oh gosh! You guys are really blind!" Kelsi snorted. She saw Gabriella looked at the 'unknown' couple.

"Fine! I walked in on my mom!" Gabriella said with confidence.

"Oh.. okay…" everybody said.

"My turn. This will be a shocker," Zeke smiled mischieviously.

"I never had…"

Everybody stared at him.

"Sex."

Unfortunately, Chad and Taylor drank.

"What!" Troy was surprised. "You never told me!"

"Well, we promised to keep it a secret!" Taylor explained.

"Wow… that's a big shocker. And no one else drank…" Sharpay said.

She was ignored.

"When was your first time?" Troy was all fatherly now.

"He's going to make a great father, Gabby," Ryan complimented.

"Thanks. I just hope he won't be so… retarded around our children," Gabriella said to him.

"Uhm… at the hotel…" Chad said.

"Which one?" Troy asked.

"The one on the field trip," Taylor replied nervously.

Troy sighed. "WHICH FIELD TRIP?"

"The ski lodge resort one!" Chad answered.

Troy mock fainted.

"Sheez, Troy. Don't have to be so dramatic…"

"How many times?"

Chad and Taylor looked at each other. Then they started counting with their fingers or mentally in their head. Everyone's mouth dropped.

--------

Two minutes later…

--------

"One hundred and sixty-eight times," Taylor told everyone.

"This reminds me of that Will&Grace episode where everyone was counting how many people they had sex with and how many times," Zeke whispered to Sharpay.

"That was an interesting one…" Sharpay whispered back.

"One question," Gabriella said.

"Shoot," Chad told her.

"Was the first time like that passionate, safe sex or that hot, monkey, wild sex?"

"Gabriella!" Troy was amazed at his girlfriend and surprised.

"I just wanted to know!"

"The first one… The latter happened five months ago…" Taylor muttered so that Gabriella's ultra super hearing could pick it up.

"Oh yea. I lied. I walked in on Chad and Taylor."

"You lied?" Troy gasped.

"Oh come on, Troy. Not ALL people are "goody two-shoes"…"

"Can we please stop talking about Chad and Taylor's sex life and continue that game?" Jason asked in exasperation.

"Thank goodness. Okay. I never kissed a boy," Gabriella said quickly.

Everybody drank. Gabriella started laughing hysterically.

"HAHAHAHAHA! Are you guys serious?"

"What?" the guys were confuzzled.

"HAHAHAHAHA! I got you good! Gosh, I'm great!"

"Can we redo that one? And say it slower…" Sharpay suggested.

"Fine." Then she added a tad bit slower, but nonetheless fast," I never kissed a boy."

Everyone yet again drank. The girls got it, for they have an ability to understand fast talking. The females in the group laughed.

"I don't get it," Zeke muttered.

"That's a good one, Gabriella. You're so awesome," Kelsi laughed.

"I'm totally awesome!" Gabriella said with some attitude.

"Do it again! This time, even MORE slowly!" Troy commanded.

"Okay, okay. Sheesh. I. Never. Kissed. A. Boy."

Everybody drank again, but Ryan, Jason, and Zeke spit their drinks out.

"Oh my cherries! I can't believe I drank to it THREE TIMES!" Ryan cried.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Gabriella was laughing so hard she couldn't breathe.

"Third time's a charm, brother," Sharpay laughed and snorted, laughed and snorted.

"I still don't get it…" Chad mumbled.

"OH MY DAISIES! ARE YOU FREAKING DEAF?" Kelsi screamed.

"What? Why?" Troy looked at everybody with a befuddled expression.

"Let's try this again," Gabriella suggested.

Loudly, Gabriella said it again.

The girls, Chad and Troy drank.

"Wait… you guys aren't lying?" Taylor asked.

The two looked at each other than at Taylor.

"No," they said in unison.

"What?" everybody shrieked.

"Yeah. We kissed a member of the same sex," Chad said.

"Who? Each other?" Taylor scoffed.

They looked at each other again and then at Taylor, again.

"Yeah," they said together.

Gabriella and Taylor screamed while everyone else besides their boyfriends laughed. In Sharpay's case, laughed and snorted.

"When did this happen?" Gabriella demanded.

"And we want the WHOLE story WITH the details!" Taylor added.

"Okay… well," Troy started.

----------------

Yay! Sixth grade! Or rather.. The summer after sixth grade!

----------------

"You guys want to play "Truth or Dare"?" Manuel asked.

"Fine. But nothing disgusting," Troy agreed.

"Considering we're all boys," Chad pointed out.

"Well, anyways…. Who will go first?"

"Me!" Manuel shouted.

"Why do you get to go?"

"Because I'm older than both of you!"

"This is getting boring already. We need more people!" Chad whined.

"Okay…"

Manuel turned around and called out to all of the boys. Unfortunately only one came.

"Oh well. Let's continue. Chad! Truth or dare?"

"Dare…" Chad muttered.

"Okay! Make-out with Troy!"

The subjects of this dare were flabbergasted.

"Ew, man! I told you nothing disgusting!" Troy scolded.

"I never said, alright, now did I? You have to do it! No turning back!"

"I never made out with anyone!" Chad cried.

"JUST DO IT!"

The boys stared and each other and snogged full-out. After that they ran away from the laughing boys (more joined in watching them) to their houses. And probably questioned their sexuality.

----------------

"Oh my heavens! You wondered if you were queer!" Gabriella gasped. "My boyfriend was a queer!"

"I'm not gay! I just wondered if I am! And I am NOT gay!"

Taylor swirled the liquid in the can.

"Taylor?" Chad was afraid of what would happen.

She was muttering incoherently and Chad swore he heard the words 'homo' and 'secrets'.

…

"Okay.. that was an awkward story…" Jason once again broke the silence.

-----------

Gabriella's daydream/nightmare

-----------

There's a rabbi with Troy. Who's the bride? Unknown for now.

"You are now husband and husband."

Chad is revealed and stomps on the glass. (I don't know Jewish customs… I'm Catholic) They smile at each other and run away together.

-----------

"AAAAAH!" Gabriella screamed.

"What?" Troy asked in concern.

"I just daydreamed a nightmare and you were Jewish," Gabriella told him.

…

"Oh. And a rabbi married you and Chad."

Troy groaned. He was totally screwed with this.

"Can we please resume the game?" Zeke sighed.

"Only if Gabriella can stop daydreaming about nightmares," Kelsi mumbled.

"Well this game is stupid…" Troy shook his head.

"Oh, come on! It's not that bad!" Sharpay assured him.

"Just because your girlfriend will think of you as a queer sometimes doesn't mean we don't have to stop playing," Zeke smiled.

"Gah…" was all that Troy said.

"Just go, Jason," Taylor grumbled.

"Uhm… I never had been felt up or felt someone?" Jason was afraid people would look at him strangely.

Everyone sighed and drank.

Kelsi mumbled something and went.

"I never had a hangover with a screaming migraine."

All the girls drank.

"You girls can't hold your drinks," Chad teased.

"Well, we just party more than you, _boys_," Taylor scoffed.

"How much partying?" Ryan asked out of curiosity.

"Every weekend. And sometimes school nights," Sharpay informed them.

"This is really getting boring…" Troy sighed. "It's not fun anymore."

"Fine. Let's have chugging contests," Zeke suggested.

"No. I'm going home and going to have some fun."

He got up and left.

"Troy! You can't have any fun without me!" Gabriella ran after him.

"I'm out. Come on Zeke," Sharpay said.

She grabbed Zeke's hand and walked away.

"Peer pressure. Come on, Jason. We're going to my house because my parents aren't home," Kelsi told her boyfriend.

Walk… away.

Chad and Taylor just sat there.

…

"Want to go for our one-hundred sixty-ninth time?" Taylor asked.

He smiled and started making out with her.

"Not here, bimbo."

He rolled his eyes.

-----------------

I had no idea how to end this freakin' thing.


End file.
